Think about it, we are all basically big balls of energy. It’s why you can’t function after work sometimes because you are mentally & physically exhausted from utilizing your energy sources (food, water, strength, stress, etc…). But do you notice when you are doing something you enjoy that your energy levels last longer, you are happier, & you can blow past your “normal” work load?

When you disconnect your personal life from your professional life you are being something you are not. You are cutting off a natural energy source that exists and you deny yourself the fulfillment you need in order to get through your day. When you take your personal mask off and only put your professional mask on, you are being something you’re not. This is exhausting because you are denying your mental and physical health half of it’s energy supply. Plug into all of you and you will be amazed at the results.

I met an awesome business owner a couple of months ago and I was so moved by her story that I asked her to write a guest post on Rock Star of the Week. Check out Leah’s story and let us know what struggles you’ve had around wanting to bridge the gap between personal & professional. If you aren’t getting the results you desire, ask yourself, “Am I showing up everyday being… me?”

The Suffering of a Balancing Act
By Leah Johnston

I am a business owner and the founder of The Executive Nanny, a nanny placement agency that helps families find and screen nannies. I am also a belly dance performer and instructor. As a belly dancer and business owner, I have struggled with the connotations that are connected with belly dance. At one extreme, there is the viewpoint that belly dance is a promiscuous dance that is used to impress or arouse men. On the other hand, belly dance can be seen as an extremely empowering and beautiful dance form that can benefit women’s physical and emotional health. At the start of my career with The Executive Nanny, I feared I could potentially forfeit my reputation and credibility if people knew that I was also a professional belly dancer.

The Story That Created My Division

I decided to keep both aspects of my life COMPLETELY separate after an experience I had at a “Women in Business” retreat. I was the performer during their lunch break and noticed a woman in the audience that I had met through The Executive Nanny. Because I had a costume with a lot of make-up and hair accessories, the woman did not recognize me. While dancing, I had an internal debate with myself as to whether I should say hello or if I should just leave before they recognized me! I decided to say hello. My business acquaintance was excited to see me in another facet; however other ladies at the table looked at me with disapproval once hearing that I was the owner of The Executive Nanny. One woman said, with a condescending chuckle, “Well, do you hire Goth nannies then? Hahahaha!” At that moment I felt the need to completely separate the two worlds from ever coming together. Not that I spoke of my belly dancing often, but from this point I was going to either hide it or quit dancing! And for a few years, to avoid the risk of judgment and loss of business, I pretty much quit dancing. Not only was I sacrificing something that was extremely empowering and fulfilling for me, I was withholding my gifts of teaching and sharing this with other women!

Be Memorable

Then many business mentors and friends started talking to me about the importance of being a memorable business owner and that people (potential prospects) often will grow to like you more when you share things that are memorable and sometimes more personal about yourself. The whole idea is that you want to look different and be different then everyone else. What about you is going to make someone remember you and ultimately choose you in business and in life? This opened a lot of doors for me as I felt the freedom to dance again! Not that I planned to advertise myself to prospective clients as the belly dancing nanny, but that I didn’t have to actively hide it anymore. I also realized that in providing belly dance classes and sharing this beautiful art with others that I was actually empowering them and helping to make their quality of life better. After being encouraged to be memorable and realizing the positive impact I could have on others, I no longer felt the need to hide my passion for belly dance.

I am a better, more well-rounded, creative, and healthy woman because of my dance. We have to look beyond judgments and preconceived ideas and allow ourselves to participate in the things that bring us joy. Being memorable and doing what we love is not always going to mean we are understood or accepted, however, hiding those things will only bring disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. So, look beyond what others say, do what you love, and have an open mind toward others.

Leah Johnston is the owner and founder of The Executive Nanny and Belly Dance by Leah. You can check her out at execnanny.com and facebook.com/BellyDanceByLeah.

Customer Service. To me this phrase means providing the utmost in personal service for a client, customer or anyone contributing to the purchase of your product or service. What it really means is that you will do whatever it takes to make sure your customer gets what they want or need in order to feel fulfilled with you, your product, service or company… ESPECIALLY when YOU the company screw up.

So why the rant? Two reasons, all in the same week and all wearing on the same nerve.

Example #1

I was at a meeting where a local (NEW I might add) restaurant catered our lunch event. Not to mention the restaurant owner is a member of this group and knows all of the participants. When it came time to eat lunch there were 3 items to choose from; salad, chicken fingers and chicken wraps. I am getting married in two months so already, chicken fingers are out for me. That leaves the salad and the wrap. Though, hard to eat the salad when there is no dressing! They “forgot” it.

Ok, dear business owner, there is a Costco across the street. You had 20 minutes before the lunch started. GO… ACROSS… THE… STREET… AND… GET… SALAD… DRESSING. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, I’ll be the first to admit it. But what does standing around for 20 minutes just talking about it do? Nothing for your business. More times than not, when there’s a really negative situation happening, there’s generally always a way to turn it into a positive or save face.

The irony in this is that she had to stand-up and promote her business at the meeting. Do you think that any of us in that room are going to think of her business first when we have catering needs? Would I have thought about it if she would have went above and beyond & went across the street to go get salad dressing? You betcha. Rule #1 – Go above and beyond for your customers. This restaurant is closed for business in my mind.

Example #2

I met a colleague for lunch yesterday. We are getting caught up, ordering drinks (me a water, him a Pepsi) and then we order. The bread comes out and then all of a sudden… fire alarm. We thought nothing of it and then the staff members start pouring out of the kitchen. Not good. No one sees the staff running outside or screaming for us to get out so we stay put.

The waitress then comes to our table and says, “I’m sorry, the kitchen has caught on fire and we will not be able to serve you lunch”. No problem, completely understand. Glad no one is hurt and glad the place didn’t burn down. However, when she said, “I’ll be right back with your bill” I about fell on the floor. What? You are going to charge him for his pop he took 3 sips out of and now we have to leave to find another place to eat when we only have 25 more minutes left for lunch? It’s a fountain pop, not a Grey Goose martini. We did get $10 gift cards which is nice but to wait for the bill, to pay, and then wait to get it back… just didn’t make sense when we still had to leave to find a place to eat lunch.

Now, as a local spot of ours, where my soon to be hubby and I frequent often for dinner… I can assure you I am not impressed with the customer service that was provided on that day. Over a pop (soda if you’re from the south). Let it go guys, let those of us who didn’t get to eat lunch get out so we can conduct our business and get back to work. Again, rule #1 – Go above and beyond for customers… especially when they’re hungry. Not good to upset customers on an empty stomach. No really, just not a good idea.

So the rant. I’m finding that this is becoming a larger issue within family business, small business, large corporations… it doesn’t matter. People say, well, there’s no loyalty anymore? Really? Where’s the customer service anymore? Chicken or the egg, because the way I see it… there are more and more companies who are missing the boat BIG time around customer service. BIG time. Want to differentiate yourself in this “down economy”? Offer your customers GREAT customer service. Rule #1 – Go above and beyond for your customers, ESPECIALLY when YOU screw up.

So, what’s your worst customer service story???

Technorati Tags: Customer Service

Since I’ve decided to launch HEELS, Helping Energize & Educate Ladies Sooner, it’s been amazing the stories that have emerged from women who have told me about the limitations they have put on their life because of others.

Even more interesting are the young women I meet who think their dreams are unobtainable or even worse, that their dreams are “dead to them” at 16 & 17 years old. Wow. How did this happen?

I guess it could be our society, the media, our parents, our peers, etc… there’s a ton of research to support that it’s a few or a combination of all of those. But regardless of where it started, you get to decide where it ends.

I came across this video on Facebook today. It’s Joyce Meyer talking about life, the purpose of your life and the importance of vision. “There is a price to pay for your vision, but not everyone is willing to pay for it”. http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=The_Silent_Years

In fact, most people are short changing themselves. I ran into two high school girls who are waitresses in the Toledo area that gave me a wake up call as to why HEELS is so important. A nice reminder for me to keep on my vision in order to help support young female teens.

One waitress had on her name tag that she likes to “create”. I asked her what she likes to create and as she responded with much enthusiasm (with the thoughts of scrambled eggs and orange juice evaborating from her brain), “I love art”.

I asked her what her plans were after high school and she said, “NO IDEA. But I know I can’t be an artist because my family told me if you’re an artist, you’ll be a starving artist”. What was even more entertaining was when I went to walk out the door she said, “Hey, you know what I really want to be?” As I smiled and looked up, she looked me straight in the eye and said, “An actress”. I said, “There it is”.

When we allow people to open up doors that they didn’t know they could open, what’s behind them? It doesn’t mean that you actually will be an artist or an actress, heck, maybe you will, but what it does open up is a path that is more authentic towards what you are able to accomplish opposed to what you think you need to accomplish. Going down that path just presents adversity, negativity, and unnecessary frustration. Who’s dream are you living anyways? Yours or someone else’s?

I’m sure Donatello, Van Gogh, & Leonardo Da Vinci might agree that when starting out things were tough, but they followed their vision and because of it they have changed the world and have made some of the most amazing art (history) in existance today.

Following your mission and purpose isn’t just about money… it’s about happiness & fulfillment. Creating what you were put here on this Earth to create; whether that’s peace, music, construction, a medical break-through, etc… just create what you were meant to create, offering your YOUniqueness to the world and no kidding, it all just starts to gel and happen. As Rory Vaden would say, author of Take the Stairs, “Think it. Speak it. Act it”. If you can get it out of your brain and confidently talked about… actions start to fall into place.

People might say, “Yeah, well, I can’t quite my job or I can’t do this or I can’t do that, I don’t have enough money, time, blablabla”. Great… and maybe you’re right. So instead of talking about what you can’t do, what CAN you do? What is a first step towards doing something different towards meeting your vision? Rome wasn’t conquered in a day people.

Just like us, typical Americans, we want it now and like yesterday. That’s not how it works. Yes, you get the occassional one hit wonder but notice… it’s a one time deal. Sticking with your vision is like marriage. It’s a commitment. There’s highs, there’s lows, there’s ups, there’s downs… but at the end of the day, it’s your vision & worth the time, energy and commitment to see it through.

My second waitress was an expressive type, with fun hipster glasses and a calm demeanor that instantly let me know she was a good listener. I could tell she was not wanting to walk away from the table with me and my colleague so I said, “What do you want to do after high school”. She said, “No clue. I just want to get through home school”.

I am intrigued by different forms of education as it’s part of my research. So I then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling me her experience with home school. She said, “It’s easy. More than anything I dropped out of high school to do home school because I was sick of sitting by myself in the library for lunch because none of the other girls wanted to sit with me”.

My heart stopped. Here was this amazing human being sitting in front of me who pushed all of her creative energy away because she thought she had nothing to offer because the girls at school couldn’t see what she had to offer. So she refused to see it either. She could have the cure to cancer, a Nobel Peace Prize around the corner or be a really great mom under all that anger… but will we ever see it? More importantly, will she ever know it?

This week’s Rock Star of the Week is VISION. When you align passion and purpose, “shift” happens.

So, what is your vision, what do you want to create for yourself and the world? Tell us below in the comments section. Don’t know? Fill out a sample session form here & I’ll help you uncover your life’s vision. Also, if you know a teen like the above who could benefit from a really great summer camp around vision and getting geared up for college, click here. “Be the change you wish to see in the world” ~ Ghandi

As I’m sitting in Starbucks working on a project, I’m sitting right next to a college worker and his “boss”. They are talking about an upcoming symposium they are putting together at the University of Toledo on Leadership. 

As I’m listening to his boss talk about leadership & his ideals around what it means, I had a light bulb moment. Leadership is a bajillion dollar industry! People buy books, go to seminars, find mentors, listen to webinars, & would go to the moon to find it. What people don’t realize is that there is no magic formula for leadership. It’s looking inward to give your gifts outward. I find that so many people try to look outwards for leadership, “What are THEY doing?”, look inwards, what are YOU doing???

Of course we need help along the way, we need other leaders to learn from that went before us. And maybe that’s the paradox that lies within leadership & the ongoing search for it – it’s easier to go off what someone else is doing or has done than to figure it out for yourself, to find what works for YOU? It’s an ongoing search for many because some people never stop to say, “Wait a minute. What do I bring to the table in regards to leadership?”

What the boss man was throwing out was the same old cookie cutter routine, the same event, same symposium, same, same, same leadership stuff we’ve been talking about for YEARS.

Time.

Time is becoming ever so valuable. With technology comes more to do, with to do comes more responsibility, more, more, more. As I sat there and listened to this event I thought why in the heck would I go to this if I was to be someone who was invited?

Then that brings up another issue. People have been saying lately, “Well, it’s just harder to get people out for LIVE events”. NO KIDDING. What are we offering people that they haven’t already heard 800 times before? What are we talking about that’s different? What are we offering that’s new? And in-case people haven’t looked around at society as a whole… the old way, isn’t working. How long are we going to ride the old horse and buggy version of leadership? Can we move on please?

And then my brain went to the next neuron. Wait, this is a professor. THIS is what we are teaching the next generation about leadership? My GOD, we’ve heard about the talent shortage coming up in the next generation but what & how are we teaching kids to overcome it? THIS? Because if that’s the type of leadership philosophy that colleges and business schools are teaching… we… are… in… TROUBLE.

People are starving for development, for leadership & for the next big thing. When you stop looking at others and look to yourself to find it… you’ll find it.

Rock Star of the Week

That’s why Whitney G. Wilkerson, NEXT for Women is Rock Star of the Week. Whitney was at a crossroad in her career a few years ago & just got to a point where things just didn’t make sense at times. She needed some leadership. Did she need to find it or live it? She had questions like, “Why wasn’t I prepared for the office politics in corporate and how do I overcome it?”

Instead of looking at everyone else around her for answers… she looked to herself;  her leadership, her vision and her passion around a solution to the problems she was facing. And now, Whitney is President & CEO of NEXT for Women.

This amazing company has built an online community (for women of all ages) to help you learn, connect, and grow in your professional life. They offer web series, articles, and a growing community that delivers life stage relevant advice. Life stage relevant advice?! Whitney, thank you, women have asked for and needed this information for awhile. Thank YOU for delivering it in a unique, fun, motivating kind of way. Not the boring done the same way over and over again content that’s being posted everywhere.

Time and time again, life shows us that when you live out your own unique leadership characteristics, you get rewarded. A business starts, a relationship forms, a job appears… it just flows. “If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you cannot find it in the opinions or beliefs that have been handed to you. You have to go to that place within yourself”.  ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

What’s Your Leadership for 2012?

So, do tell, what leadership characteristic do you want to embrace for the rest of 2012? Me, I’m cashing my chips in on “leading by example”.  As a coach, it’s important for me to stand with and beside my clients in all their highs and lows. And if I am going to challenge you to do something, I am walking the same lines in my everday life.

And there it is, Mary Kay’s secret… acknowledgement. Something that so many businesses are missing out on today with not just clients but their employees. If you’re in-house peeps aren’t acknowledged do you think they are returning the favor long-term for your clients? Mirror for them what that looks like & watch your sales go up.

Jennifer Wenzke, a Toledoian & Mary Kay Director has this art form mastered and brings to life the gift of acknowledgement. But first, more on Mary Kay’s foundation and why women like Jenn make this organization ROCK. 

Mary Kay Ash Biography & Vision

Business leader, entrepreneur, & just a stand-up lady; born Mary Kathlyn Wagner in Texas during 1918 (My grandmother’s first and middle name & my future last name, is that a little cool?). Ash was a pioneer for women in business, building a substantial cosmetics empire. In 1939, Ash became a salesperson for Stanley Home Products, hosting parties to encourage people to buy household items. She was so good at making the sale that she was hired away by another company, World Gifts, in 1952. Ash spent a little more than a decade at the company, but she quit in protest after watching yet another man that she had trained get promoted above her and earn a much higher salary than hers.

Entrepreneurial Venture

After her bad experiences in the traditional workplace, Ash set out to create her own business at the age of 45 (for those of you who think you’re too old to start over, think again). She started with an initial investment of $5,000 in 1963. She purchased the formulas for skin lotions from the family of a tanner who created the products while he worked on hides. With her son, Richard Rogers, she opened a small store in Dallas and had nine salespeople working for her. Today there are more than 1.6 million salespeople working for Mary Kay Inc. around the world.

The company turned a profit in its first year and sold close to $1 million in products by the end of its second year driven by Ash’s business acumen and philosophy. The basic premise was much like the products she sold earlier in her career. Her cosmetics were sold through at-home parties and other events. But Ash strove to make her business different by employing incentive programs and not having sales territories for her representatives. She believed in the golden rule – treat others as you want to be treated – and operated by the motto: God first, family second, and career third.

Ash wanted everyone in the organization to have the opportunity to benefit from their successes. Sales representatives – Ash called them consultants – bought the products from May Kay at wholesale prices and then sold them at retail price to their customers. They could also earn commissions from new consultants that they had recruited.

Commercial Success

All of her marketing skills and people savvy helped make Mary Kay Cosmetics a very lucrative business. The company went public in 1968, but it was bought back by Ash and her family in 1985 when the stock price took a hit. The business itself remained successful and now annual sales exceed $2.2 billion, according to the company’s website.

At the heart of this profitable organization was Ash’s enthusiastic personality. She was known for her love of the color pink and it could be found everywhere, from the product packaging to the Cadillacs she gave away to top-earning consultants each year. She seemed to sincerely value her consultants, and once said “People are a company’s greatest asset.”

ROCK STAR of the Week

Jennifer Wenzke is a director for Mary Kay cosmetics and I’ve had the privilege of getting to know her over the past week. She met a director of MK herself years ago who invited her over to her house to try some product. The director was so successful, so happy, so driving a free car that MK provided and Jenn was so wondering why she didn’t have this in her life?!

The director invited Jenn to be a part of this world but Jenn declined on the spot and walked home from that director’s house a changed women. “Why did I say no? Why couldn’t I have that feeling in my life too” she thought. She got home and made the scary decision to go all out and try it. It wasn’t that Jenn lacked experience at the time, she lacked the confidence to know she could. Years later Jenn is one of the most successful Mary Kay consultants in the region, not just because MK offers great product, but Jenn can see the great in you and what life possesses for you while wearing your Mary Kay.

Jenn gets Rock Star of of the week for forming a women’s networking group called, SO NOW (Stone Oak Network of Women). It started off with just 25 women a little over a year ago and now it’s close to 200 women who get together to support & acknowledge each other each & every month. WOW. The world needs more women and more organizations like Jenn & Mary Kay Cosmetics. Congrats Jenn & thanks for showing us what great looks like & what’s possible in your own community when you step up to make it happen.

To learn more about Jenn Wenzke, her Mary Kay business or how to contact her… click here.

So… tell us, what person or product makes you feel ACKNOWLEDGED?

Technorati Tags: career, coaching, Confidence, Feeling Pretty, starting a business

A close friend of mine sent me an email from an old magazine article, Housekeeping Monthly, May 13th, 1955. The article was, “The Good Wife’s Guide”. Wow, have times changed.

Let me outline a few of their suggestions…

• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he gets home. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.

• Be a little gay and a little bit more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he’s reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a rest too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• Greet him with a smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace, calm and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

• Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or if he doesn’t come home at all. Count this as minor compared to what he went through all day.

• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, pleasant voice.

• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will exercise his will with fairness and truthfullness.

Just a Few Thoughts

As I look at the above suggestions from 1955, a couple of things go through my mind.

1. What about my mind, body and spirit?
2. No wonder the divorce rate has went through the roof
3. It’s no surprise why guys are just starting to get out of this mentality because quite frankly, 1955 wasn’t that long ago! And we wonder why women are still having a hard time moving up through the glass ceiling once you get past middle management? Most of the decision makers ARE men who grew up as children in this era. These are also most of the men who make up boards of major corporations, yet, women can’t figure out why they aren’t invited in to make decisions? Because you’re supposed to be home getting a fire ready!
4. Really… offer to take off his shoes? I’m the one wearing heels all day.

What’s the secret to a happy marriage?

I’m getting married in May and it’s funny because everyone always asks me, “How’s the planning, what color are the bridesmaid dresses, where’s the honeymoon, etc…”

People always want to talk about the wedding, but what about the wedding?

John and I love to eat at the bar when we go to a restaurant (because it’s quicker then waiting for a table). When we sit at the bar, 9 times out of 10 we end up chatting with another couple at the bar who are older, married and love talking to a younger couple like John and I who are just starting out as newly weds.

John always chuckles sitting with me up at the bar, in a light hearted way, because he knows what I’m going to do next in these situations. I love talking to these couples because they bring, perspective. All of the couples we’ve had the privilege of meeting and sitting by have all been married somewhere between 15 – 40 years.

I always ask, “What is your secret to a happy marriage?” The next part is my favorite. These couples are stopped dead in their tracks. No one has ever asked them that. WHY? Who cares about dresses, wedding cakes, & honeymoons. If men and women put as much time into their relationships as they did into their wedding or their jobs… how much better would marriage and families be today?

The husband and wife always have the biggest smile on their face when I ask them, “What’s the secret?” It makes them realize how far they’ve come and the cutest darn thing is that the guys are usually the ones who are the most touched by this question. I had a guy just last week say, “Thank you for asking me that”.

Dream World vs. Reality

When people have babies, women are throwing in their 2 cents all the time, “Do this, do that,  this helps them sleep better at night, this will be a life saver for you. Don’t worry, that’s normal for them to do”. Why does NO ONE want to talk about marriage? There is no one secret to success for a happy marriage, this I know. And it’s not the recommendations like the above that are going to solve anything in today’s marriage. So, what’s the answer to help out the new generation of women? First of all, be vulnerable and talk about it. No one marriage is “perfect”.

I think media is still painting an unrealistic picture of marriage. We’re putting square pegs in round holes and women are caught between a dream world and reality. Women don’t talk about it because no one marriage fits the “perfect” stereotype so it’s easier not to talk about it when there is actually a whole lot in there to celebrate. Which, if you read my very first Rock Star of 2012 blog, is the basis behind Rock Star of the Week.

Rock Star of the Week 

Mom in Heels, a local Toledo blog, receives Rock Star of the Week. Lisa, is taking the bull by the horns and getting women around the area talking about life, marriage, kids, and putting it all out there… in all of its glory and beautiful chaos.

Mom in Heels just received the Best of Toledo Award for best blog of 2011. This shows that women are  wanting and needing more women to converse with on various topics and issues concerning… women.

By the way, did you see the Pinterest article on Yahoo yesterday? Marketing guru’s are just baffled by the success of Pinterest. Hello, women marketers have been talking about this for the past 5 years… women are making more money than ever, women control 80% of household purchasing power and more women than ever are starting their own businesses. Why are people surprised? Etsy was a huge success and now Pinterest. Women want to exchange ideas. Women want to be heard. Women want to do more than “arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes”.

This is just the beginning. You will see more and more women stepping up and bringing forward multiple ideas, products and services in the next couple of years because they are starving for a peice of the pie.

Ladies… based on the above “Good Wife’s Guide”, what are your “Good Wife” tips for a realistic marriage in 2012? Because women can be good wives, mothers and working, contributing members of society… they are the new Rock Stars of our time!

Technorati Tags: Careers, Good Wife's Guide, kids, Marketing, marriage, Mom in Heels, moms, Rock Star of the Week

I am going to brag… just for a moment. I have the best future mother-in-law in the world. She supports my vision in life, my dreams and my passionate endeavor to pursue my coaching career. She continues to get me books on motivation to strengthen my research along with my own personal development, she picks me up quote books because I am one of the biggest quote geeks around and the book that she got me that I’ve really been into lately, Christiane Northrup’s, “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”. More on Christiane in a minute.

Life Coaching

Coaching is a newer concept out there. A lot of people when they say, “So, what do you?” and I say, “I am a Life Coach,” I kind of get one of those deer in head light looks like, “Annnnnd what exactly does that mean?”

Coaching might be a newer field but it is by no means a newer concept. It is the practice of being present, a practice that has been around in religion and in the medical field for quite some time.  And in today’s world, where there are more and more demands while things move faster and faster, it’s harder for some people to get present and it’s even harder & harder to know and understand why it is they feel a certain way in their life because they don’t stop to tune into their mind or body long enough to listen.

Falling Madly in Love 

A lot of people don’t know my journey so I would like to take a minute to share it. This was a big area for me in my coaching journey… sharing my feelings & letting others know how I felt. I was superwoman at the time, “No thanks,” I thought, “I’m just fine over here doing it all by myself. I don’t need you“.

When I was in Corporate America, I found the male dominated management world I lived in to be very confusing. It was hypocritical and degrading to say the least. I was beginning to challenge my beliefs & my morals as a female and more importantly, as a person. When I checked in with the one male mentor I did highly respect at the time, the response I got was, “Just keep doing what you’re doing”, that was not exactly the answer I was looking for.

Not having any female mentors to turn to internally, because 9 out of 10 managers were male, I decided to take matters into my own hands. My body and my mind knew what I was feeling & it wasn’t normal or the path I needed to be going down. I felt stuck, a word I so often hear as a coach and one that I most definitely can relate to.

I knew I didn’t need therapy or a counselor, I just needed what felt like a wake-up call, a good swift kick in the butt to tell me to do something. I’d heard the concept of a life coach and I pushed it off for awhile – because what the hell is that? But after awhile, my options were running out. I made the call to my Life Coach… and with that call, everything changed. I finally, for the first time ever, fell madly in love with myself… I saw me, for me.

Holy… smack in the face

When I started coaching, my coach had me rank certain areas of my life on a scale of 1 – 10 (1 bad, 5 ok, 10 bombastic). I ranked them on that first day and then at the end of my 3 month commitment, I had to rerank those items. Holy… smack in the face. As I reranked my items she pulled out my old list. As I sat there and compared the two lists the “light bulb” went off. The ONLY thing that changed over 3 months was me. Plain and simple. My mind ran wild; I was the one preventing movement and possibility, I was the one limiting myself by others beliefs that I self imposed, I was the one putting myself in their box.

It’s truly that easy to change your life… the question is, do you want to? It might be a simple concept and I’m not saying there isn’t hard work in there, because trust me, there is. But the rewards are endless and the real question is, do you want to? The process moved me so much and the results coaching created were so profound in my life that I said, “If anyone answers that question, do you want to, and they reply yes… I want to be able to help them get there”. The rest is history. I went back to school, got certified and I’ve been helping clients find themselves ever since.

90% of all diseases are caused by stress

I could explain coaching all day long. I personally have seen the freedom it has unleashed in my own life and the same freedom that it has unleashed time & time again for my clients.

But why do we need it? Why do we need a check-in with ourselves once in awhile, why do we need a coach? Well, why does your car need a tune-up or oil change, why do your teeth need cleaned, why do you get a yearly physical, why do jobs have annual performance reviews, why do you go to church on Sundays, why do you do spring cleaning & why does your computer cache need emptied once in awhile? To unclutter. To reboot. To catch things before they go bad.

Coaching doesn’t just unclutter your life, it can save your life. I heard a statistic the other day that 90% of diseases are caused by stress. This is sad because when I worked in the medical field one thing that drove me nuts was how people always wanted to be on the next magic bullet, the next best pill. But wait, what if you could prevent illness from happening in the first place? Can you imagine the dollars that could be saved on testing, drugs, doctor visits, the time and energy that could be saved for those that are truly sick, the diseases that could be prevented in the first place if we could just lower our stress levels on a more consistent basis?

Rock Star of the Week, Christiane Northrup, M.D.

I am especially interested in female empowerment because I see what is going on in our society. I see media’s negative portrayals, I see & feel the perceptions that exist, the double standards, the glass ceilings, the looks, the lack of support and resources available to women. However, these are NOT excuses. We are all in control of our own lives. Our past is not our destiny. I am here to help others find their inner gifts so that they can use them in their personal and professional lives to make the footprint they want to leave on the world. If it’s being a better stay at home mom, a CEO, an account manager, whatever… just be you doing it. But what I’m noticing lately, the big question of, how do I do that? There’s all kinds of books, presentations, webinars, tv shows, etc… but how do I do that? It takes accountability and it can take a good coach. Olympic Gold Medalist, the experts themselves, have a coach. Tiger Woods, has a golf coach. Beyonce, a voice coach. The list goes on and on.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. articulated for me in her book, “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom,” the exact phenomenon that we are experiencing today in the world. I’ve taken a rather lengthy excerpt from her book but it’s well worth the read.

“The patriarchal organization of our society demands that women, its second-class citizens, ignore or turn away from their hopes or dreams in deference to men and the demands of their families. Instead of learning how to pay attention to the genius of our intuition and inner guidance, we instead internalize the belief that we are not worthy enough, smart enough, or good looking enough to live the lives of freedom, joy and fulfillment. Little boys learn early on how to shut down their feelings to avoid being called a “sissy” or otherwise being compared to an inferior girl. The denying of the universal human need for emotional expression, love, support, partnership, self actualization, and self-expression causes enormous emotional pain and also uses up a great deal of energy. Lacking a way to name and change their situations, many women (and men) instead turn to addictions such as overwork, overcare, smoking, and overeating that result in endless cycle of abuse that we ourselves help perpetuate. Being abused or abusing ourselves, we become ill. We turn to a medical system that is set up to deliver mostly quick-fix pharmaceutical solutions to problems that can’t be healed until we change our core beliefs and thoughts.

Female bodies, long associated with cycles and subject to the ebb and flow of natural rythms, are seen as especially emotional and in need of management. Our entire society functions in ways that keep us out of touch with what we know and feel.

A first step toward making a positive change in your life or your health is to name your current experience and allow yourself to feel it fully – emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Back in the 1980′s, it was crucial for me to see how often I used the caretaker and rescuer role to stay out of touch with my own feelings. It was crucial for me to name this behavior “relationship addiction”. Before I did this, I looked to others to affirm me and tell me that I was ok. I took their cues on how to act, feel and look: I was always seeing myself in terms of other people. I believed that if I said no to someone who needed me, I wouldn’t be valued or loved. Looking back over my life, I see not only how persistent this pattern has been but also how much it has improved through insight and behavior change. My own life and health has improved enormously as a result of naming and changing this behavior. Simple. Not easy”.

Christiane Northrup, M.D. is Rock Star of the week for taking the medical community head on & challenging what so many are missing;  you can create physical and emotional health and healing. She was scared to write her own book for fear of what her peers and colleagues would say, but guess what, it landed on the New York Times Bestseller list because women wanted and needed her to express her inner wisdom.

One of my favorite quotes, “Well behaved women rarely make history”. Dr. Northrup, thank you for going out on a limb and showing the rest of the world and the medical community that not every single women who feels “stuck” needs to be on an antidepressant.

I don’t know, I guess and I’m sorry 

STOP. If one, two or three of these phrases exist in your vocabulary, stop. You are creating uncertainty in your life. I myself fell into this category years ago and have seen almost every single one of my female clients of every age struggle with one or more of these phrases. You do know, you are certain and you are not sorry for being you. Taking control of just one or all three of these phrases can make a profound impact in your life. Time to throw one or more of these away today?

The “don’t believe me section”

Look. I’m not here to shove coaching down everyone’s throat. I’m not here to say everyone needs it. However, I am here to say that based on my own experiences, and because of those experiences gained the knowledge and training to help others, that it is hands down an amazing tool. I am all about helping people gain control of their life again if they feel it’s drifted somewhere off the map or they need to figure out how to personally or professionally grow in a more positive direction. Because it can be done. I work within it and see it happen every single day.

In closing, if you don’t believe we are among an epidemic in this world, check out these statistics posted from The New American, “A new report from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics shows that over a 10-year period, the use of antidepressants has skyrocketed across the United States by a staggering 400 percent — as the numbers of those diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (the clinical name for depression) and anxiety disorders has dramatically increased.

Overall, women are more than twice as likely as men to take an antidepressant, the analysis reveals. The biggest users are women ages 40 to 59, with 23 percent of that group using an antidepressant. Among males and females ages 12 to 17, 3.7 percent take an antidepressant, compared with 6.1 percent of those ages 18 to 39, 15.9 percent of those 40 to 59, and 14.5 percent of those 60 and older”.

Women are more than twice as likely to take an antidepressant. I’ve heard people say, “Women are just weaker, women don’t have what it takes to do what men do, women need to stop complaining”. No, women need to be heard. If we could just start right there, how much different would the world be?

I heard another stat the other day that blew my mind. Only 3% of the population in the United States makes goals for themselves and then here’s the kicker… executes on them. 3…%. What?! I read stats like the above, women are 2x more likely to take andipressants who feel miserable in this world, and it’s no wonder we only have 3% of the population acting out on their dreams and goals. I am going to also bet that most of the population in that 3% are not women. But my challenge today is… what if they were? Would we have more cures for cancer, beat childhood obesity, have safer household products, a female president… what if MORE women were a part of that 3% and what if we could get the next 1% to be mostly women?

Leave me a comment or let me know in my contact tab if you are needing a “tune-up” in life. More times than not, ignoring the check engine light just isn’t a good idea, especially, when we could have prevented a blow-up or stall from happening in the first place. It’s back to basics; Green light go, Yellow light, caution and Red light, stop. What signs are you ignoring & more importantly, what are you ignoring?

Technorati Tags: coaching, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Emotional Health, Physical Health, Well-being, Women's bodies, Women's Wisdom

Now, Julia and I have known each other for 17 years. We were High School pals and notorious for even pushing the limits back in our younger days. Nothings changed.

Julia is the strong, confident, funny female that tells you just how it is… whether you want it or not. Julia keeps it real. Julia works hard and has moved her way up into district management positions within large retail brands over the past 10 years. Julia also has a very big heart.

Today’s Rock Star of the Week post is about one thing – when life shows up with crap that you didn’t have in your plans. As women, especially strong women, it’s hard to ask for help. It’s hard when life unpacks its bag of crap in your world. It’s hard to try to deal with it all on your own or in some cases, try to take the blame for it when it really didn’t have anything to do with you in the first place. So what do you do?

Julia and her husband both had great jobs. They both had the perfect wedding. They both had everything that any new couple would want starting out. They got pregnant and then, life unpacked its bag of crap. Julia had complications in her pregnancy from nearly the beginning. She was on bed rest for 11 weeks and then her beautiful baby boy was born. Though, life continued to dish out more crap. Her new bundle of joy was then diagnosed with complications in his brain.

Her son has basically been back in the NICU every single week since his arrival this past fall. For some of us, we can say we understand, but we don’t. We can just be supportive. For others, you’ve been there. It’s scary, it’s frustrating, and it’s only normal to wonder… why me?

You don’t have to be religious to grasp the below concepts for my post today, but I have two sayings that stick out for me this week, for anyone dealing with crap in their life.

God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle

It’s so easy to lose yourself when life gives you crap. It’s SO easy, for every single one of us. This is the time when you have to look in the mirror and say, “No really, who am I”, because your body and your mind need you to be plugged into 100% of your naturally creative self. You need YOU when life unpacks its bag of crap.

The big man gave you talents and strengths that he didn’t give anyone else so that when you needed them the most, you could use them. It’s so easy to forget that. It’s easy to look adversity in the face day after day, tribulation after tribulation and say… I just can’t do it anymore. Yes you can. You have people around the corner who are right there to help you. The question is, do you see them? Do you know it’s ok to look around the corner, tears and all, and say, “Help”.

Well, I’m here as a friendly reminder to let everyone know in this Rock Star of the Week that you are a human being. We all have breaking points. It’s normal. I repeat, it’s normal to have a breaking point. And if you say you have no breaking point(s), I would be happy to hand out most arrogant statement of the week in addition to Rock Star of the Week.

Women are expected to hold it all together; stay perfect just like your hair, your make-up, your job performance, family and everything else. I hear that phrase a lot as a coach, “I am expected to hold it all together”.  No you’re not, that is a “belief”. We often hold a standard for ourselves that might not even be obtainable and here’s the kicker, we put ourselves through torture all on our own. Ouch.

If you don’t release tension, you get an explosion. Often times, that explosion could be prevented by releasing just a bit of that tension. Most people say, “Well, how do I do that?”. The first step (say it with me), I… am… not… superwoman.

God takes us through to get us to

Why me? Why did I lose my job, a family member, why am I going through a divorce, why did I get sick, why, why, why? We don’t have answers to these things. What we do know is that when passion and purpose are aligned, “shift” happens, good “shift”. It’s blown my mind to have personally experienced it and to have seen what my clients have experienced by lining up their life and taking BIG actions towards embracing who they are.

But what happens when things are unaligned? There’s shift there too, of a different kind. The universe tries to send us a harsh wake-up call once in awhile to remind us that we’re human beings and to get realigned. We all have different wake-up calls but they all point to one crucial reminder… shift.

Rock Star of the Week

Julia gets Rock Star of the Week for staring life’s crap in the face, for being courageous, and for being strong when it would be so easy to give up. For being a good mom, for being scared and for most importantly, being human. The changes in her life have created shift, but she’s taking the path less traveled by trying to stay positive and realign. She is a smart cookie and her son might not know it yet (but he will) his mom is a Rock Star in every sense of the word.

Technorati Tags: Advice, coaching, HELP, Leadership, Women

So, I had the flu yesterday. It was the kind of flu that you aren’t going anywhere for at least 24 hours. So what else do you do when you’re sick besides sleep and watch TV? Well, that’s exactly what I did; however, I don’t usually watch a lot of TV anymore. Needless to say, I got a wake-up call from the amount of trash that’s currently on TV, especially, degrading women. What really blew my mind was the amount of trash on AFTER kid’s get out of school.

Ironically, the night before I got the flu & the night before my weekly Rock Star post, I received an email from a friend with a video trailer on an organization called Miss Representation. As I watched the video she sent me, I just sat their in awe. This is exactly what Rock Star of the week is all about. This is IT.

The video challenged media’s portrayal of women in advertising, movies, TV and the affects it has on the lack of female leadership in this country – hence my sick day in front of the TV and my utter disgust with the results I was getting from the challenge I’d received  just hours before from the Miss Representation video.

Miss Representation on a Mission

This organization wants to change the face of media and to challenge the media’s limited portrayals of women and girls. These portrayals, and the message they send, make it difficult for women to achieve leadership positions and to feel powerful. Don’t believe them? Watch the trailer to their documentary. It’s a MUST watch, click here.

Miss Representation’s newsletter states, “Miss Representation is a feature-length documentary that exposes how mainstream media, with its limited – and often disparaging – portrayals of women and girls, contributes to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America. Building off the themes of the film, MissRepresentation.org is organizing tens of thousands of individuals to unite around a common, meaningful goal and spark millions of small actions that will ultimately lead to a cross-generational movement to stop sexism and create lasting cultural and sociological change”.

Here are just a few campaign activities that Miss Representation is working on

• Women and girls are speaking out, telling their stories and influencing change.
• Men andboys are standing up to sexism, counter hyper masculinity and championing women as leaders.
• Schools are using the Miss Representation‘s Curriculum to educate youth around media literacy and to inspire and activate students to make change.
• Communities are hosting screenings and discussions to shift the cultural mindset around gender and end sexism.
• Consumers are using their power to celebrate positive media and advertising, and challenge negative media and advertising.

 The Sobering Statistics

In the documentary, it says at the current rate, women may not achieve equality in leadership for 500 years. 500 years! You can change this through the actions outlined above and by getting involved in Miss Representation’s Campaign.

In one week American teenagers spend 31 hours watching TV, 17 hours listening to music, 3 hours watching movies, 4 hours reading magazines, 10 hours online. That’s 10 hours and 45 minutes of media consumption a day. And based on what I saw in one days worth of watching TV while being down, it is no wonder our youth are on a rocky path moving forward.

• Women hold only 3% of clout positions in the mainstream media (telecommunications, entertainment, publishing and advertising).
• Women comprise 7% of directors and 13% of film writers in the top 250 grossing films.
• The United States is 90th in the world in terms of women in national legislatures.
• Women hold 17% of the seats in the House of Representatives (the equivalent body in Rwanda is 56.3% female).
• Women are merely 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs.
• About 25% of girls will experience teen dating violence.
• The number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youth 18 or younger more than tripled from 1997 to 2007.
• Among youth 18 and younger, liposuctions nearly quadrupled between 1997 and 2007 and breast augmentations increased nearly six-fold in the same 10-year period.
• 65% of American women and girls report disordered eating behaviors.

My Story

People have often asked and most recently because of the 2012 Rock Star blog, “Lish, where does this passion come from?” Well… I’ve seen it, been through it, experienced discrimination myself and I’m working to see that my son and/or daughters don’t have to go through it during their lifetime.

Women don’t have the same rights as men. Period. The sad part to me, is that society isn’t even aware at this point that it’s an issue. Awareness is half the battle. Until we can get industries and people on the same page, change can’t happen. But it can happen… this is why I’m so excited to announce Rock Star of the Week, Miss Representation. Awareness is happening.

Here is an organization that is making all the right waves to ensure that our next generation of youth can have a world where girls and boys can play in the same darn sandbox.

I started noticing sexism BIG TIME when I worked for a company that took a large handful of guys into a preceptorship program (fancy word for internship) without interviewing them and then took those same guys and promoted them into management positions without being interviewed for that position. The girls? A smaller handful were considered for preceptorships and they had to interview for the preceptorships AND then had to interview for the management position. Which, some how didn’t show up as often. It truly was more of a preceptorship shall we say, with no position available at the end. Fair? Trust me, with the caliber of ladies that were up for those positions… not so much. And the sad part, the male regional managers, really had no idea that they were even doing this. Awareness… half the battle folks.

My next notable act of sexism was when a former supervisor told me that my acts of opinion made me more “difficult” as to where an equal male counterpart (also opinionated) got considered “rough around the edges”. Should I mention my male counterpart got promoted shortly there after, again, no one else was considered for the position. And by the way, different organization. It’s deep across our culture and imbedded in many companies, homes and organizations. In his eyes, I was just the “grocery getter”. No really, he said that.

There’s no place like home… there’s no place like home.

I’ve started Rock Star of the Week because I’m tired of all the articles and sick of no action. Well, here’s some action. It is no wonder that many women decide to stay home, quit jobs, throw their hands up and give up. I’m here to tell you that’s not an option, we need you. Here is a stellar organization that gives you tools, resources, messaging, etc… to move forward and more importantly, be heard.

The Documentary and Screenings

All right you Toledo ladies. You are always complaining there’s nothing to do in the area. The Miss Representation Documentary will be premiering at Bowling Green State University on January 26th, from 7:30pm – 9:30pm. Cost is FREE! Click here for more info.

I will be getting a group of women together to go see the film and would like all Toledo area women interested in attending to meet at the Penta Career Center parking lot off of State Route 75 at 6:30pm. We will caravan down to the film screening as a group. Pass this onto friends, family members, loved ones, etc… We need you starting TODAY. If you’re interested in other screenings outside of the Toledo area, click here .

There will be way more to come in regards to Miss Representation but leave us your comments on an in-just act you’ve experienced, seen or a female loved one has experienced.

Thank you Jennifer Siebel Newsom; Writer, Producer & Director of Miss Representation. We need you and more people like you. Congrats on Rock Star of the Week!

Miss Representation Trailer

Technorati Tags: Alicia Kuehl, career, Dreamsurge, Gender, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, Miss Representation, Sexism, Women, Women in Leadership, Work place equality

Hilary Corna is a young professional that ventured off to Asia after college to land a job with Toyota. She wrote a book on her experience called, One White Face. During her first week in Asia, one of her higher ups told her that she was the one white face within the company. Ouch, talk about a warm and fuzzy your first week on the job!

One White Face tells the story of Hilary’s pursuit to succeed in an international career as the only Caucasian working for Toyota’s Asian regional office–giving up love for a career and finding all the while that success would not just be defined in her career but  also in her ability to discover and accept herself.

A friend of mine recommended I check out Hilary’s blog a few weeks ago because she is the type of lady I dig and she’s making a profound difference in the world in her own way. This is important because society has its way of putting everyone (especially women) in the same darn box. Rock Star of the week is about getting out of the box and embracing your own YOUniqueness.

Hilary is making impact in the world by establishing a few key points.

1. Dream BIG, dare yourself to do something different
2. Take action, try. Succeed & fail

I messaged Hilary today and let her know that I would be highlighting her as Rock Star of the week, needless to say, I’m impressed with her tenacity. I’ve changed the front of my website to include her TEDx talk (also included below) and I’ve tweeted her talk on a couple of different occasions over the past couple of weeks.

I’m celebrating Hilary and commending her because she did something uncomfortable. She did something people told her not to do. She did something outside of the box… she is paving the way for more women to reach out into the global market. A territory not yet traveled by too many women here in the U.S.

Here’s the kicker and the point of today’s post, everybody gets their own definition of success. Maybe you are currently trying to define success as a job, a title, the amount of money you make, a specific body weight, an appearance… whatever! But what I would ask you today after reading this blog and watching Hilary’s TEDx talk is this, “What really defines success for you?” For Hilary, it didn’t necessarily end up being her job, it ended up her being herself in her job.

People often say to me as a coach, “Yeah, but how do I get what I want out of life?”. Honestly, it comes down to 3 little words… do something different. The number one thing I see from clients is fear to venture into the unknown and fear to try something different. As humans we have been conditioned to make excuses in exchange for our happiness. It’s right there… we either have to change the way we are looking at it or change the way we are going about it. 

So, the focus of this post is to get us grounded in who we are and what we want as women. We can’t do something different without knowing who we are and what we want. As the tag line goes in DreamSurge… What’s possible in your world? Well, over the next day, month and year… let’s find out.

Leave us your comments and let us know what is YOUR definition of success? Being a good mom, giving to charity, peace of mind, getting up the career ladder, being a good wife, changing the world… what is it for YOU?

Check out Hilary’s 9 minute TEDx talk, think about it and let us know!

Technorati Tags: Careers, Changing the world, Fun, mentorship, Success, Women in Leadership