Now, Julia and I have known each other for 17 years. We were High School pals and notorious for even pushing the limits back in our younger days. Nothings changed.
Julia is the strong, confident, funny female that tells you just how it is… whether you want it or not. Julia keeps it real. Julia works hard and has moved her way up into district management positions within large retail brands over the past 10 years. Julia also has a very big heart.
Today’s Rock Star of the Week post is about one thing – when life shows up with crap that you didn’t have in your plans. As women, especially strong women, it’s hard to ask for help. It’s hard when life unpacks its bag of crap in your world. It’s hard to try to deal with it all on your own or in some cases, try to take the blame for it when it really didn’t have anything to do with you in the first place. So what do you do?
Julia and her husband both had great jobs. They both had the perfect wedding. They both had everything that any new couple would want starting out. They got pregnant and then, life unpacked its bag of crap. Julia had complications in her pregnancy from nearly the beginning. She was on bed rest for 11 weeks and then her beautiful baby boy was born. Though, life continued to dish out more crap. Her new bundle of joy was then diagnosed with complications in his brain.
Her son has basically been back in the NICU every single week since his arrival this past fall. For some of us, we can say we understand, but we don’t. We can just be supportive. For others, you’ve been there. It’s scary, it’s frustrating, and it’s only normal to wonder… why me?
You don’t have to be religious to grasp the below concepts for my post today, but I have two sayings that stick out for me this week, for anyone dealing with crap in their life.
God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle
It’s so easy to lose yourself when life gives you crap. It’s SO easy, for every single one of us. This is the time when you have to look in the mirror and say, “No really, who am I”, because your body and your mind need you to be plugged into 100% of your naturally creative self. You need YOU when life unpacks its bag of crap.
The big man gave you talents and strengths that he didn’t give anyone else so that when you needed them the most, you could use them. It’s so easy to forget that. It’s easy to look adversity in the face day after day, tribulation after tribulation and say… I just can’t do it anymore. Yes you can. You have people around the corner who are right there to help you. The question is, do you see them? Do you know it’s ok to look around the corner, tears and all, and say, “Help”.
Well, I’m here as a friendly reminder to let everyone know in this Rock Star of the Week that you are a human being. We all have breaking points. It’s normal. I repeat, it’s normal to have a breaking point. And if you say you have no breaking point(s), I would be happy to hand out most arrogant statement of the week in addition to Rock Star of the Week.
Women are expected to hold it all together; stay perfect just like your hair, your make-up, your job performance, family and everything else. I hear that phrase a lot as a coach, “I am expected to hold it all together”. No you’re not, that is a “belief”. We often hold a standard for ourselves that might not even be obtainable and here’s the kicker, we put ourselves through torture all on our own. Ouch.
If you don’t release tension, you get an explosion. Often times, that explosion could be prevented by releasing just a bit of that tension. Most people say, “Well, how do I do that?”. The first step (say it with me), I… am… not… superwoman.
God takes us through to get us to
Why me? Why did I lose my job, a family member, why am I going through a divorce, why did I get sick, why, why, why? We don’t have answers to these things. What we do know is that when passion and purpose are aligned, “shift” happens, good “shift”. It’s blown my mind to have personally experienced it and to have seen what my clients have experienced by lining up their life and taking BIG actions towards embracing who they are.
But what happens when things are unaligned? There’s shift there too, of a different kind. The universe tries to send us a harsh wake-up call once in awhile to remind us that we’re human beings and to get realigned. We all have different wake-up calls but they all point to one crucial reminder… shift.
Rock Star of the Week
Julia gets Rock Star of the Week for staring life’s crap in the face, for being courageous, and for being strong when it would be so easy to give up. For being a good mom, for being scared and for most importantly, being human. The changes in her life have created shift, but she’s taking the path less traveled by trying to stay positive and realign. She is a smart cookie and her son might not know it yet (but he will) his mom is a Rock Star in every sense of the word.
I love your post not only because I love the amazing women you speak of but I love your message as well. Calling us women out on putting ourselves through more than we have to go through………Brilliant! It is hard to ask for help and even harder to not hold yourself to some imaginary standard society has placed on you. I think that you are right on in the idea that we need to use the gifts and the people God gives us to get through the crap that happens. Jesus isn’t a gene in a bottle that we rub when stuff gets ugly. He is a rock for us to rely on day in and day out. We are given the gifts, the grace, the fortitude, the patience, and the strength to triumph over adversity. There is not a single doubt in my mind that the fires we go through are only to refine us. My friend used an amazing illustration about a coffee bean. (I will have to apologize to him because i am sure i will mess it up.) The coffee bean is actually the pit of a unique cherry. I KNOW????!!!! I thoroughly enjoy this stuff EVERYDAY and never knew it came from a cherry?! Anyway, this little bean needs to be plucked from its tree and then pitted from it’s yummy fruit home only to then be washed and laid out in the blazing sun to dry for days. If that wasn’t enough, it then needs to be roasted in flames and then put through the grinder to be pureed into a fine grain. After all of that, it then gets boiling hot water plunged through it to become the amazing, heaven sent, cup of wonderfulness( yes, i know that isn’t a word) that perks up a bazillion of us in the morning (or, in my case….all day). Every one of those painstaking steps makes it the magnificent product it becomes. We are so many times the same. We feel as if we have been laid out in the blazing sun or put through the fire or grinder. But we come out of it a different person. Pruning hurts. No one likes (and most times does not deserve) to go through these difficult trials, But to God be the Glory. I hear so so many stories of amazing women going through things I can’t imagine living through but there is always a multitude of blessings that have happened because of their struggles too. With God and the right attitude we can have victory over life’s worst. Linking arms with fellow sisters that will lift you up spiritually and emotionally can be a powerful tool. Thank you for being on of those sisters Lish. Love you. “And if our God is for us….then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us….then what could stand against?” Chris Tomlin- “Our God” inspired by Romans8 :31-34
Lynne… I have one word… Amen. Love you girl and thank you for also being one of those amazing sisters to lock arms with.
Alicia, thanks for your support and friendship over the years and thanks for being there to help see me off to my new job in Kentucky. Transition is sometimes tough, but I’m feeling thankful right now for this new opportunity when things in the Toledo broadcast market were no longer on solid ground. You rock!
Wouldn’t miss it. Wishing you ALL the best in your new venture! Loves!
You always say it best Lish!!! LOVE your insight to the ‘crap’ we all deal with day to day…And you’re absolutely right, it’s all about taking it one step at a time and realizing things happen for a reason and that we will make it through no matter what!! Thanks Lish!!